my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
