You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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