You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
