I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
