omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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