Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
