if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
