Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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