I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Still dying that you shit outside
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
