How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
