Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
