Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
a search helicopter?!
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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