My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
