His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize