Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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