okay pat passed out under dana's car
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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