Kiss
Puke
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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