if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
