She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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