I love black thongs
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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