It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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