**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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