someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
