pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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