I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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