i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Randomize