shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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