well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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