I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
How external is "for external use only"?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
