party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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