sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
