farters have to be the big spoon...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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