I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
