Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
