ya dads aren't the best wingmen
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he fucked my hip out of place.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
