R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
