i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's blow job season.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
