i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
