Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
