you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
