...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
