piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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