Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
