I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
