Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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