shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
