Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
