My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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