he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
