I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
