Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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