His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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