I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
