You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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