Whod you bang
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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