so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
