suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
